undomestic bliss.

this is why i love love LOVE etsy.

2011-02-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

Etsy has become my go-to place for all details wedding. So far I've found my shoes, my wedding dress label, bracelet, and these adorable chair sashes! and i'm still looking for a headpiece too. there's just such a great variety, and {most} things are so affordable! Plus, I love that I'm supporting independent artists & sellers.

rhinestone bracelet by AYANSI

{ don't have this yet, just ordered it yesterday! }

chair sashes by floratouch

{ the trim is eggplant purple, just like the bridesmaids dresses. and they'll look lovely on our mahogany chiavari chairs :) }

my something blue shoes by Parisxox

{ I've posted these on here before. but i love them so much, i can't help but share them again! }

wedding dress label by MondeDesign

{ I haven't received this yet, so those aren't our initials. but such a cute idea! }

I'm still on the hunt for that headpiece, as well as favour tags. please suggest any amazing sellers you've worked with / ordered from that sell these sorts of things. or, other adorably unique ideas that you've seen while ~~stalking~~ browsing Etsy.

And happy friday! enjoy the eye candy :)

yes, i'm still alive. here are pics of me to prove it.

2011-02-06T15:57:00.000-05:00

wow, this is me basically re-learning how to blog. i pretty much disappeared, thanks to a) new 9-5 job that leaves me too exhausted to think at the end of the day, and b) wedding planning taking over my life, seeing that it's five months away. I KNOW. where did the time go?
so Isa and I went and got our engagement pictures taken, and Yaira of The Last Forty Percent Photography did an absolutely fabulous job! {well, at least i think so. but i'm biased.} something else i also learned: i LOVE having my picture taken. seriously, could have done this all day :)
Here are a few of my favourites. enjoy!

and now i'm going to use these pics as a cop-out post. you know, ease back into it :)

xo

{ all pics via LFP }

this is {sort of} a repost: wedding music

2010-10-25T11:00:00.002-04:00

i blogged awhile back about first dance songs. now that we've booked the ceremony string trio and the dj, i've got more decisions to make!

we've booked Festivo Strings for our ceremony music, and I can't say much about them yet, other than they came highly recommended from both our officiant and the hall we've booked, and that they were very prompt, helpful and professional during our correspondence. I am not at all traditional when it comes to music, so i've been trying to pick contemporary music that can be played instrumentally for the ceremony. i absolutely love that on friends monica walked down the aisle to 'groovy kind of love' when she and chandler got married. i'd love oldies songs from the 50s/60s/70s that are immediately recognizable. so i'm looking for suggestions. some ideas {but i'm totally open here}:

processional of wedding party: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", that hawaiian-sounding version...ya know? {i'm not sold on this though}

bride+father processional: "Something in the Way She Moves", the beatles; "Can't Help Falling in Love", Elvis {also a first dance option}

signing of licence: ??? suggestions please!

recessional: "All You Need is Love" chorus, The Beatles; or "Wouldn't It Be Nice", the Beach Boys

i know we've got lots of time, but i've been told to start thinking about it in case the musicians need to learn the sheet music....

I mentioned before that we've also booked our DJ - Rob at Music Central, another local vendor who was recommended by our photographer. I blogged awhile ago about first dance songs, and we still haven't decided, goddammit. the list is pretty much the same:

Make You Feel My Love, Adele
Just the Way You Are, Billy Joel
Maybe I'm Amazed, Paul McCartney
I Can't Help Falling in Love With You, Elvis Presley
Follow Through, Gavin Degraw
Heaven, Bryan Adams

And some new additions {as if i need more choices, gahhhhh}

Everything I Own, Bread
Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton
Angel Eyes, Jeff Healy

So, YA. helpmehelpmehelpme! my fiance is no help in this department, he'd have us dancing to Tupac if it was up to him. {and this is not an option, sorry}. i have such an eclectic collection here, i'd love some input.

this confirms that i am the worst blogger EVER.

2010-10-24T10:43:00.000-04:00

you know when you put something off for so long, that coming back to it seems more and more difficult, and the longer it gets the more you think 'damn, i have to come up with something really kick-ass now', and this cycle just perpetuates itself until you end up in the hole i now find myself in. it sucks.

to be honest, i used to blog first thing when i got up in the morning, and now i get up before the sun {for the love of god, i'm not exaggerating} because i have a 'real' job now. which is, actually, going really great, i have to say. it makes going back to university as an adult {or so they say i am} seem worthwhile. but it has hindered my blogging abilities in a way i didn't see coming. TOO TIRED I AM. the days go by so fast!

but wedding stuff: we took our engagement photos! and they were so much fun. i will definitely be posting them here when i get them from the photog. considering i've ~~stalked~~followed their blog for years now, it was pretty surreal being the subject, since i've seen so many engagement shoots and imagined what ours would look like in similar poses and settings.

{i know, i'm a huge corny nerd. i don't care.}

OOH OTHER AWESOME NEWS. my wedding dress arrived, and i went to pick it up, and IT WAS TOO BIG. yes, my halfhearted attempt at working out and eating healthy has paid off, and i've lost inches, people! not a lot, by any means, but enough that my dress had to be reordered in a size smaller. i could have died and gone to heaven right then and there. but now one small thing - i can't put any weight back on. david's bridal will have my head otherwise. eek.

other wedding stuff....booked the dj, the string trio for the ceremony, my shoes came in {!!!}, and i've got three invitation mock-ups to decide between. we're into the monthly countdown now {9 months to go, people} so i expect i'll be busy. if i disappear again, just assume i'm buried somewhere in a pile of RSVPs and tulle.

this is way way WAY overdue.

2010-09-10T09:35:00.000-04:00

OMG i haven't blogged in a month. i think i actually forget how. my life has felt upside down and inside out and being able to form interesting and somewhat witty sentences was not an option. i barely even tweeted. that was weird. and the longer it goes on, the harder it feels to start again. i couldn't just write a wedding entry or post a pretty picture with a quote. i had to make a comeback with a damn good excuse.

well, i got the job.

{happy dancing, with a stomach full of butterflies}

today [well, tonight actually] i head in to MY LAST RESTAURANT SERVING SHIFT EVER. feels unreal to even type that. i have worked in the restaurant industry for fourteen years! insanity. and monday morning i will take the first baby steps into my career.

or maybe the interviews were the first steps. my first real work day feels like a giant leap, somehow.

i won't post a lot about my job or the company [for fear they may find it and fire my ass] but i will say that i've been hired as a financial analyst at an engineering company. it probably sounds mind-numbingly boring to you, but numbers are kinda my thang.

so ya. i'm already freaking out in a nervous-excited way about monday morning, and YES i am already planning my outfits in my head for the first week. i even went and drooled over cute pant suits at RW and Co. yesterday. [although i'll have to wait for my first paycheck to actually afford one.] the thought of wearing cute work clothes excites me ~~i'm sure this will wear off quick~~ because for years i've been stuck in some sort of black-pant/white-shirt/coin-pouch/ugly-black-shoe uniform hell.

i've also been busy around the house and with wedding stuff. i promise to update you in posts to come:

- i've booked a few more wedding vendors

- i've discovered young house love, and subsequently ~~blatantly copied~~ been inspired to organize certain areas of my apartment

- scheduled, then rescheduled our engagement shoot, and it's coming up at the end of the month! [this means more outfit planning. YESSSS.]

- i watched the first four seasons of dexter in, and i'm not exaggerating, A WEEK. this is no excuse for not blogging, except that it is cuz when i wasn't glued to my computer screen [i downloaded it] i was hiding under the covers from serial killers.

so happy friday everyone! and i'll {hopefully} be back here next week!

not hopefully. i will. i've missed you too much.

this is me getting impatient, plus other random updates.

2010-08-17T13:54:00.000-04:00

i know i haven't blogged in over a week {again} and i'm sorry i've been MIA. i feel like i've just had so much going on that i'm not mentally able to blog! even with free time, my head has been a-swirl with planning, wondering, stressing, etc.

i got a call for a second interview for that job {woo hoo!} and so i've been fretting over what questions they could possibly ask, what to wear this time, should i give two weeks notice at the restaurant... i went on that interview today, and {i think} it went okay! i don't want to jinx it, believe me, but it was much less formal than the first one, and {hopefully} harder to screw up. but nothing was said at the end about when i could expect to hear or anything. so basically i am just super impatient and want to know now, either way. waiting for a job offer has got to be the most anxiety-ridden activity one can endure.

{well i don't know, maybe pregnant ladies waiting for the birth is worse. but more happy anxiety, not my gutwrenching-pull-out-my-hair could-go-either-way kind.}

it's as if i can't plan anything in my life for more than a week in advance just in case my schedule changes. working in the restaurant industry - i'm free all day, and work at night; working as a financial analyst - um, the complete opposite! i just want some stability in my life, and i want to know what my schedule will be further than say, tomorrow.

on a more blissful note, my weekend was a lovely two days off work, with people who make me smile in all different ways. on saturday, my sister surprised me with a phone call that she was in town at my parent's place! we haven't seen each other in a month, so that made my day, literally. i picked her up, armed with my camera, and we went to look at the wedding location [windermere manor] because she still hadn't seen it. i don't care how many times i go look at this beautiful property, i get excited EVERY.TIME. we then spent the evening with my fiance and my parents playing boardgames. who doesn't love taboo?!?

sunday i got to satisfy my inner child again {to be honest, i do this a lot because i don't feel like a grown up!} because my fiance and i and our friends took off to canada's wonderland - this awesome theme park full of huge rollercoasters and a kick-ass waterpark! i don't care how old i get - i will always love the feeling of waving my arms in the air as i plummet down at a ninety degree angle with only a lapbar holding me into a little steel cart. please don't tell me i ever have to give this up.

oh, and i'm still whitening my teeth. i tried to take pictures and do another update, but damn teeth pictures are hard.

oh, and i just realized today is tuesday, not monday. so i have no excuse for monday. except that i spent it watching tv and eating an entire bag of dill pickle chips.

{pics via}

and

{via}

this is just because it's important.

2010-08-07T00:35:00.000-04:00

"we must care about a world we will never see..."

- seen on a church sign on my way to work

i know it's not earth day or anything, but i saw this while driving through the city today, and its message stuck with me. being environmental isn't about quick fixes or immediate results. it's about making sure our great-great grandkids can enjoy the world they way we did growing up.

this is me putting myself out there...again.

2010-08-04T13:24:00.000-04:00

so i went on another job interview this morning. yep - three months done school and i still don't have a career-esque job yet. last time, if you read that post, did not go all that well. basically, i think i put too much pressure on myself, like it had to go well, and i had to get that job. i mean, obviously, that is the desired outcome, but i think i need to look at these interviews as learning experiences as well. but all that pressure made me go bonkers, and my mind froze up and the words just wouldn't come....i'm sure most of you have been there at one point.

this time, i was a tad more relaxed, and was able to formulate sentences a bit better, but of course i was still nervous. still walked out of the room filled with afterthoughts of answers i should've given, and smart questions i should have asked. goddammit.

without getting my hopes up too much, there are some promising facts. first, there are two available positions. second, they are only interviewing four potentials for them total. so [i think] this gives me a fifty percent chance of getting one, no? lastly, i found out about these job openings through some networking on my fiance's part - he coaches the director of finance's son's soccer team, and she is basically the boss of the four [yes, four] people i interviewed with. i had lunch with her a couple of weeks ago, and she [hopefully] put in a good word for me.

so with all that blathering, i should get back to remembering what the hell else i was supposed to do today?!?

this is an update: teeth whitening!

2010-08-03T16:59:00.000-04:00

so it's been four days of me using crest whitestrips, and i gotta say, i think they are working! even my fiance noticed a slight improvement. a few thoughts about the process:

- i only where them for a half an hour at a time [an hour total a day], but i feel like i'm always wearing them. CON.

- they stay put better than i thought they would. PRO.

- i produce way too much saliva while wearing them. CON.

- my teeth feel super smooth now all the time. PRO.

so i guess taking into account visible results, overall they are a PRO! here is an updated shot:

BEFORE DAY 4

i'll update the results in a few more days!

this is too much protein for one weekend.

2010-08-02T14:23:00.000-04:00

it's a long weekend here, for the civic holiday. besides loving long weekends, this one is great every year because our local city park hosts a huge five day festival showcasing rib restaurants from across the continent. no, i'm not making this up. there are dozens of booths from all over canada and the u.s. bbq-ing meaty goodness, as well as booths with crafts and trinkets and homemade items to peruse and admire.

i don't ingest this much meat on a regular basis, but once a year i can't help but follow my nose to the park, and my fiance and i indulge in a full rack each. seriously. i don't know how i do it.

i think what i look forward to most is the summer-fun attitude everyone in the park seems to be infected with this weekend. i love going down just to walk around and enjoy the sunshine, and be surprised by who i might run into {our city, although somewhat large, seems so small at times. everyone knows EVERYONE to some degree.}

i made sure to tote my camera along to get some pics of the action!

just a few of the booths, each with its own massive lineup!

mmmm...meaty goodness

the fiance enjoying his rack :p

adorable apron i picked up from one of the booths, handmade by the nicest local crafter!

happy monday everyone, and here's to enjoying the last month of summer to the fullest!

this is an experiment...

2010-07-31T10:00:00.005-04:00

you may remember that awhile back i posted about my parents' idea that i whiten my teeth before the wedding. i've decided to go ahead and try it now, so they will {hopefully} be whiter for our engagement photo shoot in september. i'm using crest whitestrips - just the classic ones for now. i want to see how sensitive my teeth get, and i also don't need them whiter in seven days. fourteen is just fine for me.

i'm a little skeptical about how well they'll actually work, so i'm going to document the results here. today, you're lucky enough to get to see the 'before' shot.

i can't believe i'm actually showing you this....don't judge me, it's a close-up untouched photo....

say cheese!

i'm actually wearing the first set of strips right now. i will post an update photo in a few days to see if there's any improvement.

i'm crossing my fingers that this works, the picture kinda scares me! i don't actually look like that, do i....?

this is my fabulous find!

2010-07-30T12:20:00.004-04:00

i am excited, relieved, anxious, and head-over-heels happy because i have found my wedding shoes! eek!! {happy dance} they are on etsy, from the seller Paris xox, and they are gorgeous.

yes, those are peacock feathers.

i have always wanted my shoes to be my 'something blue', but i've had a hard time finding ones i like at the usual mall shoe stores. i'm anxious, though, because i need to buy them before someone else scoops them up, and i don't have the extra money right now. {people, pleasepleasePLEASE DON'T head over to etsy and buy them out from under me.} i just need them before october, because that's when i go in for dress alterations, so they need to know the hem length.

i can be somewhat picky about details, so i was worried about finding the perfect pair. and now i have! such a relief! i could just stare at them all day....

i'll most likely get a pair of pretty {but inexpensive} flip flops for dancing later at the reception. if i can convince myself to take these off, that is ;)

what do you think of them?

this is for your consideration....

2010-07-30T01:23:00.000-04:00

{pic via}

just a little something to think about.

happy friday everyone!

this is why i need an ikea trip.

2010-07-29T11:18:00.000-04:00

i have been a perpetual student for almost a decade now, and i am finally DONE school! {well, except for some online courses for an accounting designation, but at least i'll be working at the same time.} like a lot of students, i have been living with secondhand/cheap/hand-me-down furniture. upgrading large household items usually comes in second to things, like having money to EAT. but i am dying for an ikea trip! there isn't one closer than 1+ hour away, so it keeps my temptations in check. i have to really commit to making a day of it, and i can't exactly sneak off without my fiance knowing.

there are a few areas of our apartment that are in much need of a decor refresher, and i've started making a list of things to 'pick up' the next time i'm visiting my sister and just happen to be passing ikea on the highway {i'm sneaky like that}.

up first: clothing storage.

this is the chest of drawers {from ikea, actually} that we had to buy when my fiance moved in and needed a place to put his stuff. we went for like, the cheapest piece they had. the level of quality shows.

broken. clothes exploding everywhere. this.makes.me.crazy. but guys don't seem bothered by things like this! he would happily continue to dig everyday. i don't get it.

so this is the piece i want to replace it with. {ignore my novice photoshop skills}

pretty. white. CLEAN.

next up: living room wall.

i purchased these pictures above the couch for like, $20 TOTAL from Wal-mart. also, there used to be a different couch here. now, with our sectional {which was the second big purchase we made as a couple, after the king size mattress set} the pictures aren't even centered.

i would like to replace them with something cleaner, simpler, and well, LESS TACKY. like this:

there are also probably a handful of odds and ends and gadgets i would like as well. i think i deserve an ikea trip. we shouldn't be living like this - broken furniture and tacky wal-mart art!

this is because i can't sit still.

2010-07-28T13:40:00.000-04:00

i would just like to start by saying that, No, i am NOT the world's slowest reader. i am trying to take my time with Eat, Pray, Love to make sure i have enough material to devote a few posts to each section; also, i have had a super busy summer, with not much time for reading! but august is pretty open, so i'll catch up. that's all ;)

my plan during the India section of Eat, Pray, Love was to join a yoga class, both for the mental centering and the fitness aspect. my schedule has kind of been all over the place this summer, what with the job hunting and the wedding planning, all while working shifts as a server at an italian restaurant. so i didn't think i could devote myself to a progressive weekly yoga class at a studio. instead, i joined the local gym in order to work out, but also to attend this class called Bodyflow. basically, they describe it as a mix of tai chi, pilates, and yoga. i have been to three classes now, and i gotta say, i really like it! i can already feel myself getting more flexible while i'm there. my balance definitely needs work though. and most of all, my meditation. as in, I CAN'T.

my fiance has always described me as a fidgety person, and i can't argue with him. as i read about Elizabeth Gilbert's problems with meditation and focus, i can totally relate. at the end of the Bodyflow class, we spend a mere five minutes lying on our backs doing a guided meditation, and i can't turn off my mind for even that. i lie there, listening to the music and the instructor's voice, and all i can think is my nose itches. now my leg itches. man my lower back hurts. my body thinks i'm 59, not 29. this music sounds like Clair du Lune - TWILIGHT! now i'm thinking about how i haven't seen eclipse yet. gotta do that. ooh, need to update my ipod with better treadmill music....and so on. no relaxation, no focus. i can't imagine being at an ashram in India and sitting for hours meditating and mentally chanting. this would be torture for me.

i also hate the vulnerability of lying there with my eyes closed. i always peek and look around at everyone. yup, i'm THAT person. you know when someone says 'close your eyes' to imagine something, i literally can't. i do for like, a second, and then open them as soon as they start describing it. it seriously freaks me out too much.

hmm, i may have trust issues.

but on another note, as much as i am still hating the treadmill with a passion, my endurance has increased, and this makes me happy inside. plus, my bestie and i have developed a routine for going to the gym every morning, so this should push me even harder!

this is because i'm a sucker for online personality quizzes.

2010-07-26T15:15:00.001-04:00

for some odd reason, i love to be analyzed and categorized. i'll take any and every personality test. and whenever i read the results, i'm always like 'yes, that is SO me'. even my astrological sign, taurus, fits me to a 'T'. sometimes, it makes me wonder whether i have conformed to the taurean persona over my adolescent and adult life, or if the answers to the questions of the personality tests are just so transparent that i know what to say to get the answer i want. but nevermind the judgement. they're fun and i still love them.

so today, when i stumbled across this online quiz to "predict your dream wedding", i was all like woo hoo! i'm planning a wedding RIGHT NOW! let's see if i'm planning the right style, and if i'm designing the perfect day for ME, and yada yada yada, blah blah blah.

after twelve very insightful questions, this was my obvious and unsurprising result:

You scored 53.8% Elegant Earth

Since you most likely favor cashmere sweaters, little black dresses and diamond stud earrings, it's not surprising that your dream wedding is a classy, timeless affair. Hollywood brides who get married in teeny bikinis leave you cold; elegant style icons such as Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly and Jackie Kennedy inspire you. Given your affinity for tradition, you probably have some Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn in your birth chart. Although you have a penchant for rich flavors, luxurious fabrics and designer labels, you splurge only on things of lasting value and high quality. Your guests appreciate your meticulous attention to detail -- little touches such as artfully arranged welcome baskets, organized pre- and post-wedding activities and thoughtful wedding favors ensure a seamless, well-executed celebration that everyone will remember for years to come. A bonus: When you and your husband look at your wedding photos twenty years down the line, you'll be glad you didn't succumb to trendy hairstyles and fashions!

well, DUH internet. i am all about audrey hepburn, i own at least eight little black dresses, and my jewelery box is exploding with [faux] diamond studs. but still, i appreciate the honesty. this IS THE wedding i'm planning. simple, timeless elegance. so, at least i'm on the right track!

now let's take a moment to appreciate a little inspiration:

i think i was born a little too late. what i would give to have been a lady in their era...it would have been all sorts of fabulous, i'm sure.

this is an unfortunate and tragic wakeup call.

2010-07-21T12:03:00.000-04:00

i feel like i haven't posted in a really long time, and i don't want my first post back to be a depressing one! but i can't help but dwell on something i learned last night. i found out, over facebook, no less, that an old classmate's wife has stage three breast cancer. she's MY AGE. i know it exists, but it's such a shock to be reminded that women as young as thirty can be affected. i felt like the wind got knocked out of me.

i don't know her personally, and i haven't talked to the guy in years, except the occasional facebook "happy birthday" or "congratulations". but i can't help but feel sad for them and everything they're going to be going through over the next several months. oh, and they have a one year old son. TRAGIC.

i watched my mom go through a mastectomy and chemotherapy [successfully], so i know the toll it takes both physically and emotionally on the patient and also family and friends. but i was all grown up, and my parents were empty-nesters by this point. not that this makes it any less horrible, but i cannot imagine the added stress of being a young wife and mother; of dealing with the possibility of missing out on so much life, and not being around to see your child grow up. oh my gosh it hurts me to just type it.

i don't know her family history or any of that stuff, so i don't know if she was warned of being predisposed to pre-menopausal breast cancer. but one thing i do know: she probably wasn't getting mammograms at her young age. not because she's irresponsible, but because i know [from personal experience] that in Ontario [Canada] under OHIP [our universal health care system - which, aside from this, i am infinitely grateful for] mammograms are not done on women under the age of 40. it's ridiculous, but they need to reserve the funds and machine time for women in the high risk category. Americans may not understand this, but you can't even buy time on a machine on a clinic. the option does not exist. this bothers the hypochondriac in me, since i want to start going NOW after watching what my mom went through .

this post is not intended to be a public service announcement for home breast exams, nor a jab at our socialist health care. i am just still trying to process the idea that someone my age could have to deal with something this huge. at this point in my life, i feel like i have just begun! i'm not ready to deal with a potentially terminal illness. i've barely figured out who i am or where i'm going.

but i know breast cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, and it can be treated [although through a number of unsavory options]. still, my heart and prayers go out to them today, and until i hear the word 'remission'.

this is a little thing that makes me happy-dance.

2010-07-12T14:22:00.000-04:00

i had ordered a bunch of goodies from etsy, and finally everything has arrived! i absolutely love getting mail, and getting packages is even more exciting. there's nothing like opening up the mailbox to see colourful packages from all over the continent {or even halfway around the world, like one of my orders!} with fun unrecognizable handwriting. and etsy sellers are the best, because they always include personal little notes, which make my day. seriously.

my goodies:

- adorable heart magnets from blogger kerri of your wishcake, who has an etsy shop of the same name. the magnets make me smile at the cuteness every time i look at my fridge.

- blank white cards and paper butterflies from craftzany, so i can make my own greeting cards for friends and family.

- beautiful fabric from kindsupplier, so i can make throw pillows for my bed!

you should check out these sellers if you're an etsy-er {or become one}, all of which are very talented, creative and professional.

looks like i will be busy sewing and crafting, both of which are new for me. we'll see how things turn out!

this is another update on me getting thin{ish}, and curses on the gym and its employees.

2010-07-08T19:55:00.000-04:00

so i don't remember if i mentioned this in an earlier post or not, but i just joined the gym by my house. about a week ago. this is to motivate me to a) get into wedding-body shape, and b) have access to a yoga class for part 2 of my Eat, Pray, Love Project. i have been four, yes FOUR times {!!!} and i think i'm doing well at working it into my daily routine. however. i have come to the conclusion that i hate exercising. i know, it's only been a week, and I KNOW, who really likes exercise? [but don't lie, because i know some of you crazy people LOVE it for a reason i cannot fathom]. this is me at the gym:

do ten minute {ok, more like eight minute} bike warm-up. annoyed the way the seat makes my ass feel.

start weight training. do mix of machines, pulleys, and free weights for upper body. embarrassed by the way i probably look like such a tool who doesn't use them properly, and lifts the minimum weight possible. {but i swear, it's all i can lift!}

move to the treadmill. run for five minutes, almost die, switch to a walk speed. after six[ish] minutes, try running again. make it four minutes. practically die. back to walking speed. this continues for 25-30 minutes, and I LOATHE IT THE ENTIRE TIME.

move to mats for abs. spend more time lying on mat than actually crunching. stretch a lot.

the end. thank the lord.

i'm just not one of those people who will ever enjoy going for a run. it doesn't empower or energize me. i hate exercise for every single second i partake. i hate the feeling of my heart pounding out of my chest, and my breaths shallow and difficult. i will continue to go; i must for my health and my waistline, but i will bitch and moan every step of the way.

{sorry, runners. no offense. just not for me.}

on top of it all, the gym made me to a 'fitness assessment', which they should just describe as 'a session with the embarrassment level equivalent to showing up to school and realizing you forgot your pants.' or something. to have a barely-twenty-year-old guy in uh-maz-ing shape weigh me on a special scale and tell me he's 'concerned with my bmi' {read: basically how high my body fat percentage is}, and that my cardio level AND upper body strength 'is below the needs improvement box' didn't motivate me; it made me want to crawl in a hole and die. gaaaaahhh worst moment EVER.

to end the assessment on a high note {read: sarcasm} he tried to sell me an $8000 {!!} personal training package, and got offended and basically insulted my priorities when i told him there was no way i could afford it. HELLO, i have a wedding to pay for, buddy.

but i am going to continue to go at least four times a week, and try to keep you updated!

this is because it's getting to be unbearable.

2010-07-07T16:21:00.000-04:00

here in southern ontario {canada} we're having a major heat wave, and i understand we're not alone? i hope everyone is dealing okay and not suffering too much from things like heat stroke or other unfortunate predicaments. my fiance and i live in a 700 sq. ft. one bedroom apartment with NO central air [it's horrible, i know] and only a teeny tiny window air conditioner [i should be grateful we even have that] so i've had to get creative with my keeping cool methods. so while temperatures continue to rise to ungodly levels, i thought i would share some of my own personal tips on how to stay cool:

1. go grocery shopping. seriously. they keep their air conditioner cranked on the iceberg setting. so any excuse to run out to the store. "honey? we're running out of dijon mustard. i think it's very important that i go get more now."

2. head to the mall. similar to number one. they keep the mall gloriously freezing, and so i've been wandering around, looking at all the beautiful summer clothes i cannot afford to buy. {warning: this method can lead to either an empty pocketbook, or heaps of disappointment.}

3. make friends with people who have pools. i keep my swimsuit and towel in my car {which has no A/C btw, gaaahh} at all times, just in case someone i know [or meet on the street] invites me to swim in their pool . that's right: be a pool slut. {that could be taken wrong. be a slut for pools, not in the pool.}

4. sit dead center in front of your window air conditioner. monday night, my fiance and i sat on the floor next to the bed and watched tv from there. we didn't care that our necks were strained up at a 90 degree angle, we were cool. i also plant myself here after getting out of the shower.

5. go watch a movie. theaters are super air conditioned, and a good movie is always a fun way to kill a couple hours!

6. a bag of ice. no, i'm not kidding. when temperatures got upto 112 F yesterday, i filled a ziplock baggie with ice, wrapped it in a tea towel, and laid on my bed with it on my forehead. and then my neck. and then my stomach.....if only they made baggies the size of body pillows, then i could cuddle with a baggie full of ice....nevermind. the heat is melting my brain.

7. head to your local pub. go enjoy the air conditioning and a cold beer at your local bar while you watch the world cup! or gossip with friends, read a book, whatever.

8. take a cold shower. that's right, it's good for more than just one thing! after work, if no one has offered me a pool, this is what i need to rinse of the icky sweat.

hope you're all doing your best to keep cool! i'd love to hear any other creative solutions to the heat!

this is me being irrational. about things like my tub. and prime time tv.

2010-07-03T03:29:00.004-04:00

it's 3 am and i've had 2 bloody caesars* and a bag of white cheddar popcorn.

*a casear is like a bloody mary, but with clamato juice instead of tomato juice. it's a canadian thing. also known as, A BETTER TASTING DRINK.

**sorry

so. my fiance is away for the weekend for a soccer tournament. [he's a coach, btw]. and since i'm afraid to sleep in my apartment BY MYSELF {~~please don't kill me now that you know i'm home alone~~}, i've been watching mass amounts of pirated movies/tv online. i've decided to share a few thoughts/opinions.

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

yes, it just came out in theaters. and no, i didn't intend on 'stealing' it from the internet. but the internet wanted me to watch it. it begged me. i was searching on my favourite streaming sites for reruns of law and order, but it was just there, again and again. and again. so i couldn't help myself. it's my favourite book of the series and i HAD to watch it. overall, LOVED IT. but a few things irked me:

1. kristen stewart's wig was GOD AWFUL. sorry, i know she had her hair cut for the runaways, but the hairline was just too distracting. kind of like it was eating her forehead.

2. they never should have changed victoria. rachael lefevre [i'm canadian, i should know how to spell this. but i don't] will forever be imprinted [~~insert lame werewolf pun joke here~~] in my mind as victoria, and no amount of oscar-winning-director-offspring will change that. oops, summit - you effed up.

3. [you may recognize this from an earlier tweet if you follow me] the obscene amount of underage shirtless-ness made me feel like quite the felon, statutorily speaking. ~~CANNOT.LOOK.AWAY. ENTERING COUGAR TERRITORY.~~

The Office

now that i need something lighter on my mind to ease any nightmares and quell my urges to compulsively check behind the shower curtain, i switched to live streaming of the office. always a fave. i am mentioning this because of a certain circulating rumor - is Steve Carrell a.k.a. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW leaving the series????? WHAT THE EFF. they may as well just end it, because as much as i love jim and dwight [and lord, i do] there just isn't any point in continuing without bossman michael. and this gives me the sads. {tear}

The Big Bang Theory

i have no reason to mention this show, other than i am watching it now [3 am] and you should to. because it's awesome.

you don't have to watch at 3am like me, but seriously, put it in your rotation.

and that's it. me, not sleeping. afraid of evil vampires hiding in my tub. and a world without michael scott.

and please don't kill me now that i've said it out loud.

honey, please come home soon..... >:o

this proves that food doesn't have to be pretty to be delicious.

2010-06-30T17:01:00.000-04:00

*** first, i just want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. i really appreciate your thoughts and feedback ladies! sending big virtual hugs your way :) ***

ok, this will be the last food post for the 'Eat' section of my Eat, Pray, Love project! i have finished the Italy section, and started the 2nd [India] section, and this means me + yoga. yup. and today, i went and joined a gym which hosts yoga classes! so more on that next time.

i actually documented this a while ago, but these recipe posts take A LOT of time to create {maybe it's just me} and i need to be able to sit down and focus on all the html garbage. ack.

this fish dish is courtesy of Rachael Ray {of course} and turned out really yummy! but, i will admit, it was not my best performance in the kitchen. i excel at one-pot mix-it-up dishes, but this required a delicate touch that i have not perfected. so, here it is....

Fillets of Sole Francese and Lemon-Basil Pasta!!

ingredients:

salt

1 pound long-cut pasta

- i used spaghetti. i also don't have a freaking CLUE what a pound looks like. i went with a couple handfuls.

4 sole fillets, 7-8 ounces each

- my grocery store had 3 fresh, so i had to pick up a bag of frozen as well. FYI: the frozen [once thawed] actually held up better in the pan!

black pepper

2 large eggs, beaten

3 tbsp half-and-half or whole milk

zest and juice of 2 lemons

1/4 cup EVOO

4-5 garlic cloves, finely chopped

1/2 cup dry white wine

1 cup fresh basil, or 20 leaves shredded

1 plum tomato, seeded and diced small

place large pot of water on to boil pasta. salt. add pasta and cook to al dente. KEEP ONE LADLEFUL OF THE STARCHY WATER FOR LATER!!

rinse and pat fish dry, season with salt and pepper.

if you're squirmy with slimy things, you will NOT enjoy this part.

beat eggs with half-and-half.

heat large skillet over medium heat. add butter. once melted, dip fish in egg mixture and transfer to skillet. cook 3-4 minutes per side, until golden brown.

they look so perfect and....whole now. don't be fooled...

while fish cooks, zest lemons. heat EVOO in deep skillet over med-low heat. add lemon zest and garlic to pan.

zesting a lemon? NOT easy. i freaked out on the zester and moved on to cutting rind off the lemon with a knife. seriously? i don't care that my pieces are huger than Rachael's. DEAL.

sweat {whaaaaat?} the garlic for 2 minutes, then add wine and reduce for 30 seconds. add ladle of starchy pasta water and juice of 1 lemon and reduce 30 seconds more. turn off heat.

when fish is done, transfer it to serving plates and add juice of remaining lemon to pan. turn heat off. let lemon juice combine with pan juices, then spoon juices over fish.

-this is where things kinda fell apart. literally. the fish was in eggy pieces. ugh. no pic here.

drain pasta well and add to garlic-lemon-wine sauce. add basil and toss pasta for 1 minute to absorb flavours.

yes, the basil is not exactly 'shredded'. ack. i was fed up with the fish, okay?

season pasta with salt and pepper. serve pasta alongside fish garnished with cubes of plum tomato.

see? fish crumbled. fish:1, me:0. oh well. i can honestly say that it tasted super yummy still anyways!

i think that if i could get the fish to stay 'pretty', then this dish would be wonderful for entertaining. nice and light, delicious, and overall not too difficult. i will attempt again [one day]...

stay tuned for gym updates!

this is about goals, guilt and the future.

2010-06-28T21:10:00.000-04:00

there's something i've been pondering lately. ever since my graduation ceremony two or so weeks ago. a whole mess of somethings that has been swirling in my head, in a sort of ping pong tournament; a never-ending one.

ideas of conformity, of contentment, of goals.

the guest speaker at our ceremony could be described as a feminist; she was the first woman mayor of our city, she enacted womens' rights programs and battered womens' aid foundations within the city, and she did a number of other amazing things that a woman in the 60s/70s did not normally accomplish. she spoke, that day, about the obstacles she overcame - of running against a man and getting elected, of pursuing a political science degree {when women that day rarely went to college, or did so to be teachers to have a 'fall-back' if they didn't marry}, and having a family and a full-time job {also rare}. this is the idea of conformity: she did not.

now, i have grown up in a generation where it is expected, male or female, that you will pursue a college or university education. or maybe that's just my family or the people i've surrounded myself with; but regardless, if i had chose not to do so, i would have felt like a disappointment. {not that i have followed the typical path or done things perfectly, but that's another story.}

it's funny how in just thirty years, the 'typical' female stereotype has shifted. now, to not conform is to be a stay-at-home mom. we are expected to be these career women and raise a family, and be able to to it effortlessly just like Clair Huxtable or Reese Witherspoon.{and yes, these are the first two moms that popped in my head. why? i dunno.}

this is where my concern lies: i'm starting to think i want to be this generation's non-conformer. this involves the idea of goals: MINE.

is it horribly wrong for me to feel this way? yes, i've finished my university education. yes, i'm on my way to being an accountant. but the idea of a career now is primarily so we can afford to live, not for my supposed self-satisfaction. i would honestly prefer to have my {soon-to-be} husband support us and i focus on our {one-day} family. but this is not an option, so.......

my problem: i have this feeling overwhelming guilt, like i am a traitor to all the preceding women who fought so my generation would have all the opportunities we have. and this is why i keep these feelings to myself.

and this is the idea of contentment. i think i would be perfectly happy living in an average neighbourhood in an average-sized house with average-sized income. i am willing to sacrifice a few square feet and a luxury car {or whatever} to have a job that demands less of me and leaves me more time for a family. and this, to me, is non-conforming. and it bothers me. but it's also what i truly want.

this is about patience, self-indulgence, and pretty things.

2010-06-24T09:26:00.004-04:00

yesterday was the MOST.FUN.DAY.EVER. like, for reals. yesterday i finally got to go wedding dress shopping! and considering we've been engaged for a year and a half now, i think i deserve an award for being so patient. but it was all worth it.

we went to David's Bridal, which, being Canadian, means a trip across the border to the US. which is totally fine, except that there's this new rule that says you can no longer cross with your driver's license+birth certificate, you MUST have your passport [this is annoying, since it never used to be this difficult]. i am of course super organized and made sure i renewed my passport months ago, but i can't say the same for my best friend. she spent the day before and the morning of in the passport office trying to get a rush on hers, since she only sent it in for renewal two weeks ago! that's two days of me worrying that one of the most important people, who i always envisioned this moment with, wouldn't be there. {lots and lots of sads.} BUT not to worry, because she pulled it off! and we hit the road right on schedule.

we had a fair sized group there - mom, dad [i warned him of the girly-ness, but he insisted!], sister [aka MOH], and two BFF bridesmaids. my girls found their BM dresses in literally ten minutes. we arrived at the store, and they took off into the racks. they tried on two different styles, and the second one was perfect. they are going to look FAB-U-LOUS.

this is the dress, in the colour i chose {lapis. i call it eggplant}

i got off to a slow start, because there was another HUGE group there at the same time as us, and they were monopolizing two of the salesgirls. you're only supposed to get one, people! but once they finished up, we had them to ourselves. AWESOME. i tried on, oh TWENTY or so [no joke] because 1) it was fun and 2) i was looking for perfection, obv! we had some duds, some maybes, and i narrowed it down to three. i honestly wanted to take them all. my parents vetoed that right.away.

now, i'm not sharing my choice with my fi [obv] or with my aunts and stuff, because i want it to be a surprise! or maybe i'll eventually give in and show them [the aunts, not the fi] because i'm beyond excited and can't hold it in. but i will show you guys, of course!

so pretty, so perfect, cannot wait.
and click to enlarge if hard to see.

i don't have a picture of myself in it yet, because they didn't have my perfect size [needed one up], and they had an ivory dress and i want white white WHITE. so it's on order. which could be good, because if i had it now i would continue to try it on like, every day.

the only thing i can say is that i wish it wasn't over so quickly! i want to keep trying on more and more and more and more....{my family would disagree, because we were there for HOURS.} but i LOVE my dress, and i cannot wait until october, when my order arrives!

AND i am now on a strict no bread/pasta/sugar diet. and i think i should introduce myself to a gym. because this dress has no belly camouflage at all.
{notice i didn't mention cheese......}

let me know what you think! unless of course you hate it/think it's hideous, in which case keep your opinions to yourself, people.

eek! time to go about my day and pretend i'm not a bubbling mess of excitement!

{pics via}

this is a return, an apology, and an update.

2010-06-22T11:19:00.001-04:00

oh my goodness, i'm back. it seems i unintentionally took a week off from blogging. OOPS!! let's look at my plethora of excuses as to why:

- work has been insanely busy, and i have been working double shifts and basically coming home exhausted. the idea of trying to form coherent sentences that are also {somewhat} clever and witty is just too much.

not that i find myself clever OR witty. but i try.

- i officially graduated last thursday! yay! {happy dance}. so shopping for an appropriate dress {more difficult than it sounds} and coordinating the arrival of the parental units made for a stressful couple of days.

i wanted to have a picture to include here, but i'm still waiting on an email from said parentals.

- my apartment is a freaking mess. like, think hurricane warpath, that also dirtied every dish. hinders the flow of creative juices.

that sounds weirdly gross. but you know what i mean.

- could have blogged on sunday, but i was hungover. so instead, i spent the whole day in my pajamas, lounging on the couch and watching an NCIS marathon.

literally my lamest excuse. meh.

so here i am. i can't guarantee something like this won't happen again, the creativity and expressive capability comes and goes. but i promise i will try my very hardest not to disappear for an entire week. i did miss my blog. i missed the finished product. but was too depleted to know how to get there.

coming up:

i'm {finally} going wedding dress shopping! weeeeeeeeeee! cannot wait {until tomorrow, actually} and definitely expect a post about the drama of this day.

i am done the italy section of Eat, Pray, Love; i have one more recipe post and then i have to start a yoga program {or something} to coincide with the India chapters. a little apprehensive about this, but also hopeful this will help me balance out my hectic, stressful job. {and the career hunt i'm supposed to be on. gaaah.}

i still have to decide on a tattoo. and find a shop. and document the process for your viewing pleasure.

True Blood is back. enough said. will discuss this i'm sure.

until then!

this could be painful. or amazing. or both.

2010-06-14T08:03:00.000-04:00

i need a tattoo.

ok, i realize that 'need' is the wrong word here, but i would really really REALLY LIKE a tattoo. i desire a tattoo.

tattoo no longer looks like a word.

a good seven years ago or so, i had an appointment all set up. i had my idea, sample pics....BUT THEN. ugh. the shop set me up with an apprentice artist [no disrespect to apprentices, my experience could be an isolated case], and she had more than a chip on her shoulder. i described what i wanted, brought pictures, and was told to come back at such-and-such a time to look at what she had drawn and get started. well, i came back, super excited, and what she had drawn was NOT AT ALL what i had envisioned.

for anyone wondering, i wanted two cherubs on my lower back [black and grey, no colour]. cherubs are baby angels. i wanted them to have peaceful faces like in old art, not evil or cartoonish looking. and i wanted one on the far left, and one on the far right. NOT centered around the base of my tailbone like one huge tattoo.

although i explained this, she apparently chose to hear none of it and did exactly what i didn't want.

which is fine. if the art isn't right, the artist should listen to the client and alter it to suit the client's needs. after all, it's going on MY body for the rest of my life, right?!? but she instead got extremely defensive, as if i had insulted her. i imagine now that this was because she was trying hard to impress her bosses, and when one of your first clients is unsatisfied, it's embarrassing. maybe.

i should mention too that she would not be doing the tattooing, only the drawing. the boss-man would be tattooing. i don't know why he didn't want to draw his own outline. maybe this wasn't the best shop. maybe they were a very busy shop. whatever.

problem - she said she would fix it, and call me back. seven years later, i'm still waiting for that call. great business practices, right? i know, I KNOW, i could have called them back, but i was jaded after the last time. and that's probably why i am still a tattoo virgin. but i think i am ready to try again. but i might not jump back in wholeheartedly to the back piece. i think, this time, i am going to start with something smaller, on my ankle or my foot. and a different shop. FOR SURE.

i'll keep you posted.

this is random wonderfulness.

2010-06-11T13:57:00.000-04:00

last night i had one of my besties over for a much needed girls' night. first of all, let me just say that i had SO.MUCH.FUN. preparing for this. picking out the wine, preparing all the food...i should have been a party planner [for small parties under ten] or a caterer [but just appetizers and finger foods]. i didn't take any pictures, but i will tell you that i did receive the compliment 'nice spread'. which was very flattering, but could also be taken in a dirty, dirty way [so i will now order you to get your mind out of the gutter].

i have been missing my non-work/non-school friends [aka people you are friends with for no reason other than awesomeness] A LOT lately, so this night was so refreshing. [not in a wake up feeling refreshed sort of way though, because i have to admit i am somewhat haggard after the two bottles of wine we polished off. just the two of us. plus majorly salty food. equaling* hangover.]

*{spell check tells me this only has one 'L'. i think it looks funny, but whatevs.}

but SO worth it. the laughter and the hours spent quoting Friends episodes was refreshing for my heart and soul. aww. i'll quit the cheesy-ness now.

*************************************************

on an unrelated note, i woke up this morning to our mail lady buzzing up to our apartment to tell me i had a package waiting! yippee! [no, not more shoes].

this absolutely and completely adorable clock i ordered from etsy seller decoylab is here!

what is it about hedgehogs that makes them irresistible in any form?

so ya. love, hugs, and wonderful things like hedgehogs. and friends. and Friends.

have a great weekend!

this can only be described as overindulgence.

2010-06-09T13:27:00.001-04:00

....or a serious illness.
so remember when i posted this a couple of days ago?

well...the UPS man just showed up with this for me:

and now my fiance is going to kill me.

- ya right, as if he will even know about this. i'll just hide the box and then sneak the shoes in one evening, and say 'what, these? i've had them FOREVER!'

this is me getting oh-so domestic {again}.

2010-06-08T10:00:00.001-04:00

yes, that's right. i attempted another one of rachael ray's 30 minute meals. [i never finish in 30 minutes though. i swear, it's not possible. she's a robot.] i went with another italian dish since i'm still in the italy section of Eat, Pray, Love.

no, i'm not THAT slow a reader. i've just been ridiculously busy.

so this time it is:

Italian Tuna Casserole!!

why am i so excited about this? just proud, i suppose :)

this was great to make and just keep in the fridge, and then warm up a bowl for lunches [or lazy dinners].

ingredients:

1 10-ounce box frozen chopped spinach

i used fresh here instead this time, and it was totally fine

1 pound medium or large shell pasta

i used small, and again, fine.

1 tbsp EVOO {cringe}

2 tbsp cut up butter

1 medium onion, finely chopped

what kind? what is medium? please don't ask me.

5 garlic cloves, finely chopped

3 tbsp all-purpose flour

1/2 cup dry white wine

i used sauvingon blanc

1 cup chicken stock

2 cups milk

1/4 tsp fresh grated nutmeg

i used the dry stuff, again, FINE

1 tsp hot sauce

tabasco worked

1 tsp dijon mustard

salt and black pepper
2 6-ounce cans white tuna in water

1 cup grated parmigiano-reggiano

handful chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

i would totally skip this next time, unless you care about 'presentation'

so, normally you would be defrosting the spinach here. last time, i found it SO.GROSS. so i used fresh. still totally fine, and no more burning-of-the-fingers trying to wring it out/separate it.

this much.

get a large pot of water on the stove boiling for the pasta. bring to a boil, salt like crazy and cook the shells el dente.

while pasta cooks, heat deep large skillet over medium heat. add EVOO, then melt butter into oil.

chop your onions and garlic ahead of time, because you won't have time while butter melts, and then it will start to dry up and burn. i learned this the hard way last time, so this time i was prepared.

see - prepared!

add onions and garlic to pan, cook 4-5 minutes. sprinkle flour around pan and cook for a minute. then, whisk in the wine.

and possibly pour yourself a glass....

whisk in the stock, then whisk in the milk and bring to a bubble.

season with nutmeg, hot sauce and mustard, then season with salt and pepper to taste.

simmer for 2 to 3 minutes to thicken, then add spinach.

if you were using the frozen kind, here's where you'd be separating it, which burnt my fingers last time. this time, the fresh stuff can just be dumped in and stirred to coat with sauce. and looks prettier and less seaweed-y.

preheat the broiler.

apparently, that's what THIS symbol means.

back at the sauce: add tuna [flake as you go], then stir to combine. heat spinach and tuna for 1 minute or so.

yes, i weighed it in my kitchen scale. so what?

drain the pasta, and toss with the sauce. transfer to a casserole dish and cover with the parm.

i tossed IN the casserole dish. in retrospect, i wouldn't recommend this because it wasn't deep enough and i didn't get enough tuna evenly throughout it. [it was still tasty, tho]. live and learn, i guess.

place casserole dish under broiler for 2 minutes to brown the edges and the cheese.

can i just tell you, that i totally debated posting this pic, but i just HAD to because i think it's hilarious how dirty my oven looks! and i never realized it til i saw this. the flash lit it all up i guess!

{embarrassed, red cheeks}

top with parsley, and serve. or, if you're me, try one bowl for lunch, let it cool, and keep in the fridge for future meals.

and, as i previously mentioned, the parsley is SOOO NOT needed. i purchased it just from looking at the ingredients list and not the use of it in the recipe, so i felt compelled to use it just so i wouldn't feel like a total loser. but feel free to skip.

and that's it! i actually shocked myself [and my fiance, who makes fun of my kitchen skills, or lack thereof] by cooking two separate dishes in the same day, just so we would have meals. I KNOW, WHO AM I. i'll be posting the other recipe in a few days [these posts take a buttload of time to create, and i need a break, yo]. but here's a sneak peak at how much i got done:

everything cooling on my non-existent counterspace.

happy cooking!

- did i just say 'happy cooking'? gawd, i'm a loser.

this is wedding entourage post #5: hairstylist!

2010-06-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

so i went in for a routine hair trim [taking off the smallest amount possible - gotta grow it out!] and while i was there i booked the salon for my wedding day! woot woot! it's a fairly small salon, so i was kinda nervous that it would already be taken - every other wedding vendor i've met with is booking up like crazy for 2011. but as it turns out, i was the first bride of 2011. WHAT. this is how amazingly on the ball i am.

they don't have an aesthetics department, but they totally bring in a MAC make-up artist for you to use the day-of [you have to pay for the MAC girl, obv]. score! that way we don't have to be driving all over the place to get ready.

the salon is Spencer and Company located downtown here in london ontario. i've been going to my stylist, Mardi, for a couple of years now, and totally trust her to make me look BEAU-TI-FUL.

Mardi!
{pic via}

i've been saving images for awhile, and here are some examples of wedding hair i'm considering. also, i think i'm going to go sans-veil. thoughts? i just don't think a veil suits me, and i'd way rather wear flowers or a really cool sparkly clip in my hair.

{i can't remember where i got these pics, i've been saving them for so long. oops!}

{update: the top 3 are the knot, and the last is my photog- last forty percent. the 2nd last, NO IDEA.}

and so relieved to have another vendor booked. i have a meeting with a dj later this week, and hopefully i'll be booking him too.
happy monday!
xo

this is my {decadent} weakness.

2010-06-05T18:51:00.002-04:00

i couldn't decide. so i bought both.
{happy dance for shoes!!}

hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!

these are loves and hates {today}.

2010-06-04T13:30:00.003-04:00

today i am loving:

- my apartment is squeaky clean! vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed, dusted. it's like a huge weight off my shoulders, should we get unexpected guests. [which we never do. i wish people did the drop-by more!]

- two words: hair appointment. so badly needed. split ends galore.

- the amazing summertime feeling of everyday having the possibility of adventure. it's a childhood feeling that never quite goes away.

- the confidence i have in our relationship. it's wonderful to know that no matter what argument, my fiance will always be there in the end with a goofy smile to say sorry, or sometimes "see, don't you feel stupid now" [in the most loving way possible, of course].

- that my creativity is peaking again! i was a little empty and listless, but now i feel i could just write and write. and build organizing systems. [yes, my creativity manifests itself this way. don't judge me and my OCD.]

today i am hating:

- the word hate, to begin with. makes me cringe. lets go with dislike. ~~except hate is probably more appropriate for this next one.~~

- this job hunt situation. no luck yet. not even a hint of an opportunity. i will continue to try, but the lack of response so far is very disheartening.

- debt. huge, looming, overbearing debt. GAAHHH.

- the fact that my body is literally telling me that i cannot do such a physical job anymore! serving has killed my wrists, my knees, and my back, and they are enacting revenge on me. very not cool.

- the distance [emotionally, not geographically] between my friends and i. but i discussed that already, so nevermind.

- that it is the weekend, and i have nothing planned. i guess it more so bothers me that i care whether or not i have plans. i need to be able to enjoy doing nothing, but instead i have this intensity to 'make good use of every moment' and not waste it.

- how much i care about what other people think. i wait on people who i know are about my age [or younger] and are so much farther in their lives than i am. and i feel them judging me. or maybe i'm imagining it. but it.kills.me.

wow, that last one was brutally honest. ok. enough of me being emo already. have a great weekend!

this is a not-so-hypothetical...

2010-06-03T19:47:00.002-04:00

...directed at all the married/partnered ladies {myself included}. i find lately that the time i spend with my very-best girlfriends is dwindling. WHY IS THIS?

it seems that while girlfriends get further apart, guys' circles stay closer than ever. there is an unspoken norm that while the guys will continue to hang out, the wives of the men are expected to form new bonds with each other. don't get me wrong, i have made some amazing new friends this way, and we have great fun together. but why this expectation? it's not just me. all my girlfriends and their husbands now spend more holidays and weekend time with his respective friends.

i miss my friends. my BEST friends. who know me better than anyone, and have been with me through it all. who aren't afraid to tell me the truth, and who don't expect anything from me but the same. hanging out once a week [or more like once a month these days] just isn't going to cut it.

are guys just tighter than us? or are we just more accommodating? i think we are just more willing to put ourselves out there and make new friends; i can say on behalf of my fiance that he can be somewhat difficult when it comes to situations out of his comfort zone.

it's not that my fiance won't let me see my friends or anything; GOD NO. he's just less than enthusiastic about parties and events that involve the other husbands he has not-so-much in common with.

whatever the reason, this needs to change. NOW. husbands/boyfriends/partners: you are going to go with US to OUR friend's birthday party, and YOU are going to make small talk with all the other husbands there. YOU are going to sign the card for the person you consider an acquaintance, and spend time in the bar you consider too clubby/skiddy/jocky or whatever. and new year's? it's gonna be a party at my bff's house, not yours.

now put on a tie and LET'S GO. and the short one married to tina* with the lazy eye? his name is phil*. you both like the lakers. discuss.

xo

*i have no friends named tina, nor is anyone married to a phil.

this is a lazy rainyday post.

2010-06-02T13:54:00.002-04:00

SO. i did A LOT more cooking yesterday [i'm so domestic, it's great :)] and i was totally going to post about it. WAS. but the pics with blogger + html were giving me a major headache and knots in my back. just being difficult. so i had a ~~little~~ freakout and hit 'select all; delete'. oops. i'm not integrating them all again. i will tomorrow, when i'm much more motivated. [maybe.]

i'm instead having a lazy day of surfing wedding pics online on my couch in my pajamas at one-thirty in the afternoon. WHAT. and i can see my desk from here, that i said i wanted clean by the end of may. it's june 2nd. oops.

i booked an appointed to meet with a wedding DJ. YAY! AND i have plans to talk with my friend about invitations [she's making them] AND i'm going to my hairdresser on friday, and i'll {hopefully} book the salon for bridal party hair. DOUBLE YAY! AND i have the appointment at david's bridal for dress shopping for me and my bridesmaids at the end of the month. ELEVENTY HUNDRED YAY!

{weddingweddingwedding. there, this is still a wedding blog}

{also, the word YAY has now lost all meaning}

it is a wonderfully rainy cool day after the ridiculous heat wave we've had here, and it's the perfect cuddle day to curl up with the cat and drink bailey's coffee.

PURE BLISS.

so that's what i'm going to go back to doing.

{minus the bailey's. i have to go to work in a few hours. damn job.}

enjoy your wednesday!

this is where i tell you about my great deals and mediocre movies. and food. again.

2010-06-01T08:45:00.002-04:00

{everytime i start to write a post, i want to open with 'so..'. what does this say about me? i feel like i'm interrupting all your conversations and saying 'hey! listen to me!'....ya, that sounds like me.}

i am a HUGE book lover. yes, i adore reading, but what i mean this time is the books themselves. the smell of new pages, the crisp feeling of opening one for the first time, all the colourful spines lined up on my shelves. so this next photo makes me pretty damn giddy:

{ignore the gross window air conditioner in the background. and my fiance's socks on the random chair. sheesh.}

no, i didn't go on a massive shopping spree at chapters. these books cost me less than you could ever imagine.

TEN FREAKING DOLLARS.

cue happy dance! please don't hate on me for bragging. i just can't contain my excitement!! yes, they are all beautiful and brand new. secret? my friend's aunt works at a publishing company [which shall remain nameless] and twice a year they host a 'friends and family' sale in the warehouse. which means twice a year i get access to hundreds of books that are basically overstock and won't make it to the stores. and yes, i make my friend take me EVERY.FREAKING.TIME. now i just have to figure out where to store them all. as much as i love rolling around in them on my bed, they have to find a home.

sidenote: my fiance thinks its hilarious that at least a quarter of them are cookbooks, yet i 'never' cook for him. we'll see.

against the advice of so many tweets, i did run to see Sex and the City 2 over the weekend. i was UBER excited, and i gotta say.....not nearly as good as the first [sorry ms. bradshaw!]. my official review: rocky start {the witty banter at the wedding? AWKWARD}, funny moments, sweet finish, and all together too much silliness {samantha waving condoms around in abu dabi? no way.} oh, but the fashion. THE FASHION! it was all sorts of decadent. good save there.

finally, on yet another unrelated subject, i made it to the farmer's market this weekend. i looooove the market! all the freshness; it's like a lovely, colourful bouquet of produce. and cheeses. YUMMY. i picked up three uh-maze-ing cheeses from the dairy [yes they're all gone now] and a bunch of different fruits and veggies from this cute little farmer man [yes i think little old men are cute DON'T JUDGE ME], including these:

these are also all kinds of cuteness.

sugar snap peas, my favourite summertime snack. seriously. i would way rather snack on a bag of these than a bag of potato chips. no, seriously. stop looking at me like that. i can be healthy, it's not all about cheese!

except that it is. always.
xo

this is a delicious recipe post.

2010-05-28T13:02:00.000-04:00

it is no secret now that i am a huge foodie. i think i've mentioned [multiple times?] my addiction to cheese and wine. so, in keeping with my eat, pray, love project, i promised you [and myself] that i would learn some new dishes as i read about ms. gilbert's travels in italy. the first new recipe i've tried is one from my rachael ray cookbook express lane meals:

spinach-artichoke cheesy tortellini!

it is honestly soooooooo easy, which is why i love her cookbooks. she never uses too many ingredients, and they are always everyday ingredients that i can find at the local grocer. and the obvious: they only take thirty minutes [so she says....i didn't time myself]. it turned out pretty yummy, so i'm posting the recipe for you if you would like to try it. or not. whatevs.

ingredients:

1 10-ounce box frozen spinach

2 tbsp EVOO [ms. ray's super-annoying acronym for extra virgin olive oil]

1 tbsp butter

3 garlic cloves [chopped]

1 small onion [peeled and halved]

2 tbsp all purpose flour

1 cup chicken stock

1 cup heavy cream

1/8 tbsp nutmeg [she says freshly grated, i used 'normal' bottled stuff]

1 14-ounce can artichoke hearts [drained and chopped]

2 handfuls parmigiano-reggiano cheese

salt and pepper

1 pound cheese tortellini [or another type tortellini you like]

step 1: bring large pot of water to a boil to cook the pasta.

step 2: microwave spinach on high for 6 minutes to defrost

-i don't know if you could use fresh spinach instead; i'm a stickler for following directions!

step 3: heat deep skillet over medium heat with EVOO {it hurts me to type it} and butter. once melted and hot, add garlic.

step 4: using box grater, grate onion into skillet.

- i HATE how they never say what TYPE of onion. white, red, yellow, sweet...i need to know! for the record, i think i used yellow.

step 5: sprinkle flour into skillet and cook for 1 minute.

- i know, weird eh?

step 6: whisk in the chicken stock, and then the cream, and bring to a bubble.

- 2 things: apparently chicken stock is the same as chicken broth [i think] if you can't find one in the grocery store; also, i used 'table cream', 18%, because how heavy is heavy?

step 7: season with nutmeg and reduce heat to low.

step 8: place defrosted spinach in clean {duh} kitchen towel and wring it dry.

step 9: separate it as you add it to the sauce.

- and burn your hands as you do so. ouch!

step 10: stir in chopped artichokes and the handfuls of cheese. season with salt and pepper.

step 11: salt boiling water and cook tortellini 3-5 minutes.

step 12: drain and toss with the sauce you just made.

enjoy!

this is something i won!

2010-05-26T08:00:00.004-04:00

...so very long ago. sorry it took so long to get this done, steph anne! i just finally got this wonderful chalk board wall decal hung up, and i LOVE it. so handy, and so pretty. i won it on steph anne's blog luxe chandelier.

to say i am short on wall space in my kitchen is an understatement, so i decided to hang it on the door to my storage closet. and the best part is, if i hate it here it's removable. i know, awesome.

happy wednesday!

this is an update: me getting thin{ish}.

2010-05-25T11:44:00.000-04:00

it's been about a month since i wrote about my quest to get F.I.T before i have to don a wedding dress and be stared at by one hundred [or so] people. what is that saying? "slow and steady wins the race"? um, YA. i can say that my habits have gotten better. i eat oatmeal for breakfast every day. this keeps me full = less snacking. also, no more fast food. seriously. my stomach just can't take it anymore ~~and one end or the other kinda explodes~~. [sorry, tmi]. ahem. i vivid memory to stop any future cravings.

however, the fact that i don't get up everyday and pack a lunch for school means that i can root through the fridge for whatever i want. sadly i consume less fruits and veggies out of cute tupperware containers. and working in an italian restaurant means unlimited access to my three biggest weaknesses:

seriously. what is it about bread, wine and cheese that make them so irresistible??

this past weekend was a weekend away, so calorie counting not allowed! [it this only one of my rules? i swear, it's the eleventh commandment.] there was a fair amount of indulging, and worth every drop. however, the hotel had a pool, which meant a bathing suit. in public.

don't worry, i survived.

and lastly, i have one more thing to share: i went for a run this morning. well, if you can call running in 30 second intervals and walking for minutes in between, then ya i ran. i swear, i have NO ENDURANCE. it's sad. people talk about miles? i'm not there yet. i measure in songs. example: i ran for the first verse and chorus of Heart's 'Alone' and had to stop.

but it was disgustingly hot. i guess this is why people get up to run at like, 5 am. ya. i won't be doing that. and i was carrying my keys and a water bottle. i need one of those nifty ~~fanny packs~~ running packs.

p.s. i don't weigh myself. i don't own a scale. i did have a girly appointment at the doctor a couple weeks ago, and the number on the scale there may or may not have caused me to tear up. a lot. i think i'll be sticking to how my clothes fit and how i feel, not numbers. k thanks.

this is something to think about.

2010-05-21T13:03:00.001-04:00

..."I seldom end up where I wanted to go,

but almost always end up where I need to be"...

- Douglas Adams

{pic}

and have a happy long weekend everyone!

this is a simply delicious idea.

2010-05-19T13:46:00.002-04:00

as i was coming up with this, i was absolutely bursting with words for a blog entry, and i fear it may be jumbled and forget half of what i thought up to write!

so. i was only going to post a pic, a lazy entry, because i'm having a somewhat self-indulgent day. so i took the pic and sat down to eat.

is there anything more delicious than an antipasto platter? i think not.

and decided i needed something to read along with it. now i know i originally said i was going to make it through wuthering heights even if it killed me {sidenote: it might}, and i am only on chapter three, so to be fair it probably hasn't gotten to the good parts yet. but after the day i had yesterday, i needed a fun summer read in modern normal english!

i've always wanted to read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, plus i'd like to finish it before seeing the movie.

so i was reading my book [chapter 1: in italy] and eating my snack [antipasto platters are italian, no?] and a fabulous idea donned on me. the summer project i was longing for.

{holy crap. link, link, link.}

i may not be able to afford to travel the world and eat in italy, pray in india, and love in indonesia a la Ms. Gilbert, but i can try to do all of those things here at home as i make my way through the book. as i read about her time in italy, i can improve my cooking skills and try out new and exciting dishes. while she prays in india, i will start a yoga class [both for meditation, and to work off the pounds gained during the eating chapter!]. and as for love...well, i consider myself lucky to be able to say i'm not lacking in loved ones or affection, but maybe i'll try to find new and romantic things for my fiance and i to do.

isn't it amazing and wonderful how inspiration can strike at any random time? i swear i've experienced zaps of creativity in the past, but without a way to record the idea it often leaves my head wholly or partially before i get a chance to follow through. i'm generally not a creative person, and find it difficult to draw it out on command. i guess this time i got lucky that i was at home and five feet away from my computer!

so there is my summer project. i'll do my best to keep you in the loop on it's progress. and having something besides this frustrating job hunt to focus on makes me feel better already.

ciao.

this is where i freak myself out and bomb.

2010-05-18T14:40:00.001-04:00

i went on my first ever job interview for a "real" career type job. i didn't want to post or tweet about it before hand because i didn't want to jinx it. well. turns out it wouldn't have mattered.

i can't say for sure ~~except that i CAN~~ but i pretty much failed it. i think my nerves just get the best of me! first of all, i get taken to a conference room where i am interviewed by three, yes THREE people. seriously intense! not that they weren't nice people. but still. my nerves totally caused me to have 1) shaky voice 2) fidgeting problem 3) no brain. completely at a loss for words! i mean, i obviously spoke, but i know now [that i'm done and at home] that i could have given WAY better answers.

it makes me sad, because it was a great job at a company i could totally see myself at. but i do think i looked the part....

and now i am going to wallow in self pity and eat junk food and watch one tree hill from last night to make myself feel better. until i have to go to my serving job which i now fear i will be stuck at for the rest of my life. poo.

this is spring cleaning 2010.

2010-05-17T11:06:00.001-04:00

i have a love/hate relationship with spring cleaning. i love the idea of it - the de-cluttering of space leads to the de-cluttering your mind and your life, i think. get rid of the cobwebs and dust [both literally and metaphorically]. plus, i am a little bit obsessed with orderliness and simplistic spaces.

BUT when it comes to actually going through with it i get frustrated and overwhelmed. during the school year [and this is the last time i can use this excuse] certain areas of our home fall to the wayside and become less of a priority. spending twelve hour days on campus plus working a part time job doesn't leave much time or energy for big cleaning projects.

i can hear my mother now: "if you would keep on top of it, it wouldn't get so bad or take so long"...GEE THANKS MOM.

a major downside to being a perfectionist is that you can't start a project unless you're absolutely sure you can finish it perfectly. all the details must be accounted for, or else i cannot imagine starting it.

also, it's not just my stuff i would be purging anymore. my fiance has made it known that me throwing out his stuff [no matter how insignificant or outdated i think it is] is NOT cool.

man, i am just full of excuses!

before may is over [ok, maybe JUNE], i MUST get organized. i can tell it's reflecting on my life and my mood. i need a fresh start in my space if i'm going to get a fresh start in my work-life.

*i am going to share with you the current state of certain areas of my apartment. please don't think less of me, or run away scared. and please don't report me to that show hoarders.*

first: my desk.

note: this is NOT the desk i do schoolwork at. obviously.

see that computer screen behind everything? ya. we have an ancient desktop that we never use because of our laptop. and i think i need to do something with all those books. and the blue cords? don't even ask.

second: storage closet.

yes, i realize i am so lucky to have a storage space in a one bedroom apartment! and this is what i do with it. i feel like monica on friends with her one secret messy closet. i also use this closet to hide the chores i have been choosing to ignore.

lastly: our bedroom closet.

[i did some cut and pasting here because of the closet doors. which actually make it even worse to get into.]

yes, my fiance and i are BOTH clothes horses. no one to hinder the other one. we also have not one but two dressers full of more clothes! gaaaaahh it's scary. maybe i can just get rid of his clothes. then i can keep my eighty-million pairs of jeans.

so there you have it. my projects for this spring. i can't believe i've just shown you my most embarrassing secrets. i promise i'm not a pack rat. i'm just marrying one. can we please still be friends?

this is six senses saturday.

2010-05-15T10:45:00.001-04:00

this past week at work has seemed very loooong and exhausting. i think i'm just not used to working full-time and being on my feet so much. today all i want to do is laze on the couch and watch old reruns of 90210. but instead, i will be attending a birthday party for a one year old AND a two year old. WHAT. we'll see if i survive. but nevertheless....

today i am....

tasting....the handful of salami lunch meat i just had for breakfast. that's right - no bread, no nothing. can't be bothered. ~~don't think less of me~~.

smelling....the salami? that's pretty much it. but thanks for reminding me - i need to start the coffee.

seeing....i told you, 90210 reruns on the tv!

hearing....the tv, and my cat coco crying to go in the hallway. can't blame her, i'm boring today.

touching....salami, my keyboard, the cushy couch [that i will have to get up off of soon. damn.]

feeling....lazy, overworked, but oddly i still feel optimistic! i've got my happy hat on today, i guess. :)

happy saturday!

this is me being superstitious.

2010-05-12T11:05:00.002-04:00

i have always been unbelievably superstitious. i don't know where i got it, but i always have a little voice in the back of my head saying things like "don't jinx it!" or "counteract that with {some sort of action}!". my fiance thinks i have issues {ahem}. he doesn't believe in any of it. so does my dad. but no matter hard i try to put the thoughts out of my mind, if i don't do whatever it is it will haunt me all day! i guess i believe in fate, or something like that.

a few of my eccentricities:

- throwing salt over my shoulder when i spill it.
*not always sure which shoulder, so it varies.

- knocking on wood when i 'tempt fate' with a certain phrase
*or whenever you're supposed to. i may not be explaining it right.

- not stepping on cracks [yes i know, i'm a 10 year old]

- opening umbrellas inside buildings [obviously]

- never walking underneath ladders

- saying "bless you" when someone sneezes so his/her soul doesn't escape

*and you BETTER say it back, biatches.

- crossing my fingers when i'm talking about something i want to happen but hasn't yet

- never putting new shoes on the table

*i got this from my mom via my grandma, and now i never put any shoes on the table no matter how old they are

i'm sure there are others that i'm not thinking of right now.

what's weird is my fiance and i are going to see each other before our ceremony for pictures [the day just times out better this way] and it DOESN'T bother me in the slightest. i don't know how that superstition slipped by me.

and now that you all think i'm crazy, i think i'll seek professional help for my OCD.

this is the story of us.

2010-05-11T12:59:00.004-04:00

during college i worked like a dog at this coffee shop/cafe place. we were young, so we worked hard and played very hard. every night. we were a close-knit group who frequented the college bar scene on a five-nights-a-week basis. i partied a lot, drank probably too much. i would have to admit that i dated very casually. not that i was very good at it. [i was actually horrible at it] i've always been a relationship kind of person. but the bar scene and also my group of friends at the time led to a much more...promiscuous lifestyle. nothing i'm proud of. i consider myself a strong, assertive person now, but i used to be much more self-conscious, and a lot of the decisions i made were just to fit in or follow the crowd. i wish i could go back and tell my barely-twenty year old self to stand up for myself! and speak my mind! but hindsight is always 20/20, right?

being the relationship type, i always fell too hard, or got too attached. but i'd never let the guys see it, because it was often obvious they weren't looking for a serious thing. when i met my [now] fiance, i played it cool, aloof, because i'd become accustomed to doing so.

i worked with a few of his friends, so occasionally he would intermingle with our group at the clubs. this was in NO WAY a love at first sight situation, for either of us. but one crazy summer night, with a few too many cocktails, harmless flirting turned into a lot more.

he says i came on to him. i say it was the other way around. maybe we'll never know.

he started hanging out at my work. A LOT. and trying to initiate another date [not that we'd had a real 'first date']. i totally played hard-to-get, which was so silly, looking back now. but all it took was me to say yes once, and we were inseparable. after a week together, i was already telling him to get his stuff and bring it over.

{he lived with 3 other guys on the other side of town. i lived alone downtown. neither of us had a car. but people still said we were crazy.}

and that was 7 years ago this september. we were discussing the idea of marriage after two months together, but me going back to school and him changing careers just put it on the back burner for awhile. being together was the most important thing, regardless of what a piece of paper said. i can tell you for a fact we've interacted as a 'married couple' for years now. but we [read: I] always wanted a wedding. december 4th, 2008 he proposed. we were out for dinner at a special place - the club where we first got together had been closed and renovated, and reopened as a casual fine dining restaurant. {awwww I KNOW} and we're making it official july 16th, 2011. [longest engagement ever, right? don't even get me started.]

we've had our ups and downs, and we're completely settled into our relationship; past the 'honeymoon phase' i guess. but i like that we're so comfortable with one another. i trust him with my life. but still not with my delicates [i do the laundry]. it reminds me of the friends episode, where monica freaks over not having anymore "firsts" with chandler, but he's glad to be past the anxiety of the "firsts" and more excited about their life together. and that's what i'm looking forward to as well.

it would be ridiculous to say we're "two peas in a pod" or something like that. we have completely different tastes in music and t.v. shows. my girl friends aren't close with his guy friends. i'm a neat freak, and he's...well, a slob. but we both love shopping, road trips, and movie nights.

and each other.

there's a song that just came out, and the lyrics immediately reminded me of the early days of our relationship. and hearing it now, over and over always puts me in a super-happy dancing-around mood. it reminds me that i'm still over the moon about finding this person who loves me THISMUCH and who i can't imagine my life without.

"...Just in time I´m so glad you have a one track mind like me
You gave my life direction
A game show love connection we can't deny
I´m so obsessed my heart is bound to beat right
Out my untrimmed chest*
I believe in you like a virgin you're Madonna
And I'm always gonna want to blow your mind...."

-Train, Hey Soul Sista

even after seven years, hearing 'us' in this song makes my heart skip a beat and a smile burst uncontrollably across my face.
xo

*I don't have an untrimmed chest. that's him. my chest is smooth and hairless. ok that's enough about my chest i'm getting uncomfortable...

this was a wonderful weekend.

2010-05-10T10:17:00.001-04:00

my first few days as a twenty-nine year old have been pretty decent.

on friday, my friend kristin and i went and got [MUCH needed] pedicures. and now i can honestly say my feet are cute!

if you disagree, be a peach and don't tell me.

although i had to work friday night, i didn't mind because i have a lot of friends at work and it was nice to spend time with them. i know i bitch about my job, but my coworkers and i can make it fun.

plus, my fiance had flowers delivered to my work to surprise me. I KNOW, RIGHT?!? so freaking cute. i was totally caught off guard, because usually he can't keep a secret to save his life. and he really kept this one under his hat. good job, honey.

you will also notice my cat trying to eat them/knock them down. FUN for me in the middle of the night.

on saturday, the weather was basically a hurricane, which is unheard of where we live. this put a damper {hehe pun} on our original plans, so i vegged all day, and then we got dressed up [p.s. i LOVE getting dressed up] and fiance took me to my favourite restaurant downtown; a cute little wine and tapas bar. we gorged on appetizers and lovely red wine, and he let me do all the ordering. i don't know why but this makes me happy. i think it's because he tends to be somewhat unadventurous when it comes to food, and i am the complete opposite. i will try anything once! so him enjoying everything i chose pleases me.

sunday was of course dedicated to my wonderful MOM. we did what our family always does - sat too long and spoke too loudly in a restaurant over a late lunch. we may have gotten looks, but we don't care. we're a rambunctious bunch.

and last but not least i met up with my best friends [and bridesmaids] vanessa and christy for cocktails. i felt bad not seeing them sooner, but our busy schedules just wouldn't mesh. the perils of becoming an adult, i guess.

so that was my weekend. always nice to start a new year off on a positive note!

this is six senses saturday.

2010-05-08T13:51:00.000-04:00

today i am....

tasting....nothing. but now that i think about it, i'm hungry!

smelling...clean fresh sheets.

hearing...the movie twister is on in the next room.

seeing...my computer screen? and the crazy hurricane-ish weather outside. and we don't get hurricanes here! so i don't know what's up...

touching...those same clean fresh sheets :)

feeling...a little lazy. but also bored, and ready to go continue the birthday festivities [if the damn storm would let up!]

happy saturday!

p.s. thanks for the bday wishes from kara and tara!

this is a birthday post.

2010-05-07T08:51:00.000-04:00

{image}

so. today is my birthday. my {gasp} twenty-ninth birthday. cue the parade.

....just kidding! [about the parade. it really is my birthday, people]

my birthday makes me awkward. i sometimes get uncomfortable with all the attention [but not presents. presents make me comfortable], and i definitely don't like having to plan myself a party. however, if someone else wanted to throw me a party, i wouldn't object {side eye at fiance}. maybe next year for the dreaded i-can't-even-say-it new decade.

...actually, that's not happening. i've decided. i'll just turn twenty-nine again.

have a great weekend everyone! and wherever you are, have a glass of bubbly [or a glass of anything] for me!

this is what it's like to work in the service industry.

2010-05-05T23:30:00.002-04:00

i just got home from work. i felt compelled to share with you the complete lack of common sense the majority of the population seems to possess.

i'm helping a fellow server carry out food to a table of twelve. i set the two plates i'm holding down in front of the last two seats, which i am supposedly carrying.

me: the pasta? sets down in front of one guy, and the roasted salmon? in front of the other guy

*{we're told seat numbers of who has what, plus i name the items outloud.}

...no one says anything.

me: is this what you ordered?

guy #1: [he's got the pasta sitting in front of him, and he heard me name each item]
asks...is this the salmon?

i let out a sigh, and immediately switch their plates.

good night all.
xo

*i should mention that i probably did not sigh FOR REAL OUT LOUD at them, because i could never be that rude; it's my job to NOT be rude, lol. the sigh was in my head.

this is what i'm reading [and have read].

2010-05-04T13:47:00.000-04:00

one thing i'm REALLY looking forward to this summer is reading. seriously. during the school year i feel guilty if i pick up anything except a textbook. [that makes me sound very studious. don't believe it.] now that i have some free time i am excited to just be able to read for pleasure.

first on the book list: wuthering heights by emily bronte.

i've been intrigued ever since the twilight books made reference to it. and we were never made to read any of these books in high school.

after that, i'm stuck. i would really appreciate suggestions!

a few of my faves from the past:

the time traveller's wife. read it twice. in a row.

a widow for one year, by john irving. although it's been almost 10 years since i read it. i may re-read it this summer.

the shopaholic series. so light and fun and addictive :)

the twilight series. duh

the bride stripped bare. it's an anonymous journal, and mind blowing. if you've never heard of it, track it down.

there have obviously been others, but this is what comes to mind and tops the list. i clearly enjoy both critically acclaimed, and also chick-lit. some of which are both. i refuse to believe these terms are mutually exclusive.

so there you go! tell me your faves!

this is me on no sleep.

2010-05-02T10:17:00.001-04:00

{pic}

i am awake [early] on a lazy sunday morning, and i don't even need to be. basically, i haven't been sleeping well for that past, oh...month or so i think? i can't keep track. i could possibly check my twitter feed, since every morning i wake up NOT well-rested and i tweet about it. because it.is.driving.me.crazy.

i understand that during exams i might have had trouble because of the anxiety or the fear of sleeping in too late. but i'm done now! i deserve a weekend of relaxation and recuperation before i have to start working full time again.

[at the job that i loathe. although last night went pretty well. but i still need to find a 'real' job. but that's another post i think.]

i know that part of this insomnia problem is the humidity. we live in an apartment with NO central air and i can't sleep unless it's freezing cold. my fiance knows that my wish list for when we move into a house/another place is:

central air
a dishwasher
my own washer/dryer [instead of a stupid coin-operated laundry room gaaaaaaah]

seriously. that is all it would take to make me happy.

on a related note, i am starting to think i've been grinding my teeth in my [little bit of] sleep. i am having major jaw pain. no idea what i'm so stressed about though. jaw grinding is usually a manifestation of something you're keeping bottled up, but i get everything off my chest here! [that i can think of...] oy i need help.

happy sunday {yawn}.....

this is six senses saturday.

2010-05-01T10:26:00.002-04:00

right now i am:

tasting...pomegranate & green tea.

hearing...the thunderstorm outside! i love thunderstorms...as long as i don't have to go out in them.

seeing...the storm on the balcony doors. ocean's 13 on tv. my computer screen.

smelling...not really anything! my tea, i guess?

touching...my cat cuddled at my feet.

feeling...relieved to be DONE my exams. woohoo! (un)officially a university graduate. ~~as long as i pass my finals. jinx!~~

happy saturday!

this makes me all fuzzy inside.

2010-04-30T19:20:00.000-04:00

driving home from my last (um, hello, YAY!) exam of undergrad ever, and a song that was popular when i was in grade nine came on the radio. i was immediately overcome with a sort-of reverse deja vu feeling that reminded me of that year. music does that to me. certain songs, some new, some old, some very old can bring up the strongest of feelings. music can make me excited and hyper and remind me of one great summer night with friends; it can make me sad, calm and cause a pain in my gut that hasn't been there for years.

i have a very eclectic taste in music, and most of it isn't new. i can't pick a favourite band, or i can today and next week it will be completely different. the songs i enjoy the most are songs i know all the words to and can sing along to [loudly] in the car, even though i have NO vocal skills. my fiance laughs at me and puts up with it, although i'm sure he would rather i shut the hell up.

i was always something of a collector, and this combined with my neurotic sense of order would make it so i had to had an artist or band's entire cd collection. i think i have the entire madonna, u2, and dave matthews band's respective catalogues. right next to my random all saints and limp bizkit cds.

by the way, can you tell i'm totally a '90s kid?!? i shouldn't tell you, but i also have an ace of base cd. it was my first cd EVER. i've also never thrown a cd away. who knows when it might appeal to me.

but i love to put on those old cds that i listened over and over [and over, to learn the words] and feel reminiscent, and fuzzy, and sometimes even that teenager insecure feeling. that i haven't entirely gotten over yet at certain times. i almost feel like i have this personal relationship with songs, like they're just mind and they belong in that time, with that memory. and what that song moves in me will never change.

this is not {intended to be} a movie review.

2010-04-29T01:25:00.005-04:00

i came home wednesday evening after my intense canadian history exam relieved to be done and grateful to watch tv without feeling guilty about it. the movie Julie & Julia was on one of our satellite hbo channels [we don't pay an obscene amount for it, we have some code-box contraption thingy. sshh, don't tell].

i had heard about this movie when it first came out, and skimmed the review in people magazine, but i guess i didn't actually know what it was about. i thought it was just about a girl who wants to cook every recipe in the julia child cookbook. which it is.

and for the record, i don't know what julie looks like in real life [it's a true story], but there is no way amy adams could consume that much butter on a daily basis and keep her figure. just sayin.

but what i didn't know was that she was a blogger. a newbie blogger telling the tale of her journey through the french cookbook. i of course was immediately drawn in.

it isn't the core of the movie or anything, but little things she said, and little plot points got me super excited and i sooo identified with some of them. in the beginning, she feels like she's writing to no one but herself, and how excited she is when she gets comments. the movie made me...proud to belong to this sort of club; this subculture of twenty-somethings [she is, i am] newlywed [she is, i soon will be] internet...exhibitionist??? lol i dunno. maybe i was also still reflecting on morgan's post from last week.

the movie also touched my heart with the adorable relationship between julia child and her husband in 1940s/50s europe. honestly head over heels can't keep their hands off each other, and they're like forty [fifty even]. you have to love it.

the whole thing got me thinking about goals. the girl in the movie wasn't doing something that would impact anyone else really, or would be a stepping stone to a bigger part of her life. i mean, it totally ended up being both, but that's beside my point. a goal to cook your way through a cookbook is something to look forward to, something to accomplish. and that's what i need. school and all that, those are typical goals, yes, and important, but what i need is a project. something completely just for me, to focus on.

as if i don't have enough to focus on with school/job hunting/wedding planning. but i don't care. i want something fun, interesting, different. something no one would expect i would dare do.

now, all i need is an idea....

but about the blogging. the movie got me itching to write a post. write more, write better, write deeper.

....and i think i just might keep it up.

these are great spaces.

2010-04-27T15:15:00.001-04:00

i am up to my neck in exams right now, so no time for a full post. i did want to share with you some pictures of my favourite spaces that inspire my home decor, and i can only hope that one day i will have room that are as nice as these!

it is my dream to have amazing built-ins for all my books.

gorgeous, pristine kitchen. almost to pretty to cook! {which is good, because i don't}

i would kill [~~not literally people~~] to have the space for a walk-in pantry!

this closet is my personal heaven. {~~tmi: i think i just had a tiny orgasm~~}

my style: clean, simple lines. no clutter. ever.

beautiful & inviting bedroom fabrics.

i have a thing for claw foot tubs.

& this bathroom is pure, calm bliss. perfection.

all pictures courtesy of {simply grove}

this is six senses saturday.

2010-04-24T09:48:00.012-04:00

julia, over at the world is my oyster, started a new meme [for the record, i still don't fully understand what this term means], and i thought it looked like a fun idea and wanted to join in! so here goes...

right now i am...

tasting...a delicious cup of coffee, since i just woke up :)

smelling...that wonderful freshly brewed coffee. for the record, one of my favourite smells.

seeing...thursday night's vampire diaries. i often catch up on the shows i've missed throughout the week on saturday mornings. a wonderful little ritual i've started. and also the overcast sky outside, which makes me not mind so much that i have to go to work this afternoon.

hearing...stefan and elena on the vampire diaries, and also my cat whining to go into the apartment hallway. sorry coco, no way!

touching...my laptop keys? lol and my soft cushy couch.

feeling...well-rested. and also strangely calm about the exam i have this wednesday (i shouldn't be. history is my worst subject.).

happy saturday!

this just made my day.

2010-04-22T23:40:00.001-04:00

*warning: this post is going to come across somewhat bipolar*

i just got home from my less-than-inspiring part time job, which i already complained about here. so i won't bore you. it was a typical night, therefore i arrived home feeling disheartened and listless. BUT i opened up my email and got JUST what i needed to turn my spirits around:

kara over at crayons and cylons gave me the sunshine award! SO sweet of her. it's kinda weird to be getting an award, since my blog is so new, and i just ramble on about the good and bad stuff in my life. but it's great to feel appreciated, and i am so happy i started this. i've found it very...therapeutic.

and now that i'm all cheered up, i will pass this on to the bloggers who brighten my day!

The Rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog within your post.

2. Pass the award on to twelve bloggers.
3. Link to the nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and the link to the person from whom you received this award.

the twelve bloggers are:

1. steph anne at luxe chandelier

2. megan at touch of meg

3. carina at the blogette

4. katie at special snowflakes

5. jess at the best of everything

6. morgan at mrs. priss

7. crystal at stories from my ute

8. ashley at our little apartment

9. kayla at fashion fades, style is eternal

10. brittany at b is for britt, b is for blog

11. kate at transatlantic sketches

12. tasha at random musings of an overactive imagination

thank you all for your words. i look forward to your posts every day!

this is me getting thin(ish).

2010-04-22T12:58:00.001-04:00

almost every bride-to-be considers some sort of weight loss regimen before the big day. i am no different. but i am also a horrible dieter! i just love food too much. fancy cheeses, fresh bread, chocolate, cheesecake...ok now i'm just hungry. but seriously. i know i need to get my ass in gear and shed a few. i'm also not the most motivated to get to the gym. once i get there i'm fine, but i am such a procrastinator when it comes to working out! and i eat out of boredom. what a bad habit. if the tv's on, i need a snack. if i'm studying, it's lunch time. i'm my own worst enemy.

recently, i have tried to change my eating habits. i did sooooo well last week! i made myself eat breakfast every day (coffee for breakfast is my usual), and snacked on fruits and veggies all day instead of whatever i could get from the school cafeteria. the trick was: sunday i bought TONS of produce, and spent the time to wash and cut it all up ahead of time, and store it in little containers. that way, it was super-duper easy to grab a couple containers and head to school in the morning. because i am NOT a morning person. i would rather get that extra half hour sleep than pack a proper lunch. i'm scared for my future kids. but anyways...

so ya. baby steps. not a "diet" exactly, just making different food choices. (do i sound like a weight watchers commercial? sheesh.) i still need to be shoveling food into my mouth constantly all day, but now it will be fruit and nuts and good stuff instead of cookies and crackers and a hunk of brie! mmm brie....with a glass of red wine...oh no. obviously, weekends are the worst. dinner plans with friends, a few glasses of wine (which has so much sugar in it! not fair). but like i said. baby steps.

and it is my hope that putting it down on paper (well, not really paper, but...) will help remind me and push me to try harder. nothing like sharing your plans with others to guilt you into following through! and the thought of being a fat white fluffy cow in wedding pictures.....eek!

this is why i need a new job.

2010-04-18T21:30:00.001-04:00

i work as a waitress. for at least two more weeks. what i mean is, i'm two weeks away from being done with university. two weeks until my final exams are over. two months until my graduation ceremony. (unless i seriously eff things up and fail, but that is unlikely.)* i say 'at least' because i do not have a full time job lined up yet. to be honest, i haven't even applied for anything. i am seriously procrastinating this resume thing. how do you build a resume for a position in accounting, when you have literally NO experience???

but if there was a week that could motivate me to find a new job, this would be it. i should start by explaining a couple things.

over that past ten (wow) years, i have worked at a handful of restaurants. some good, some hideously bad. the place i'm at now is a cute italian casual dining restaurant, and it is was one of the better serving jobs i've had.
seeing that i have been doing this for a goddamn decade, i'm pretty good at it. i know, serving is supposed to be for the unskilled, but it's not. any server can tell you it requires prioritizing, multi-tasking, quick thinking, and a decent memory. and customer service skills!

ok. so i've been at this place for almost two years. given my level of experience, i have always been pretty confident (in my serving skills, that is). and when i first started, i had nothing but good feedback. rave reviews. but slowly, after the past few months, things have gone...downhill. and i don't know why. and i feel like i am being viewed as this newbie weak staff member. it is sooo frustrating! the past week though. ugh. i have felt like i am being...watched. babied. my confidence has taken a nosedive, to say the least. and it is definitely not in my head. things have happened, been eluded to....i know i'm not supposed to care about a stupid part time serving job i go to a couple of times a week, but it hurts! i am naturally a hard worker; that hasn't changed. i'm still pleasant as ever. the insecure little girl in me of course avoids confrontation, so all i want to to now is get the hell outta there.

so that's my motivation. why does it take something like this? i have an unhealthy amount of neediness or something. i know i'm a people-pleaser, and i constantly need your approval. i think i'll be in trouble when my career gets going. do accountants get coddled? i think not.

*jinx! crossing my fingers. gawd, i'm superstitious.

this is my pet peeve.

2010-04-16T15:29:00.007-04:00

well, one of them. probably my biggest. no, not probably, but definitely the bane of my existence.

bad grammar.

i know, i know, i get a lot of flack for writing in all small caps; some people group this in with bad grammar. i do not. i blame it mostly on the fact that stretching my pinky to the shift key slows down my warp-speed typing. ;)

i just cannot stand to see things like 'your so funny' [should be you're] or 'there going to be here around 7' [should be they're]. didn't we learn this stuff in the 4th grade, at the most?

do i sound like i'm being super picky, or a huge nerd? well, i don't care. because YOU (who type these things in his/her facebook status) sound like a fool. ~~a white trash~~ an uneducated adolescent whose credibility just went right out the window.

i just can't take you seriously after seeing you call them 'your dog's.' [dogs are plural, NO APOSTROPHE!]*

*sorry for yelling. i get worked up.

i know semicolons are weird ~~(they're not really though)~~, and the effect/affect rule is tricky (~~seriously?~~). if anyone has seen my facebook or twitter today, they would have seen this link i posted. or this. or this. proving that i am not alone in being annoyed by your mistakes. educate yourself! especially if you're going to be putting it on the internet for anyone (and everyone) to see.

that is all. my rant is done.

this is my favourite poem.

2010-04-15T22:03:00.001-04:00

i have been trying to write a post for the past two days, but the words just aren't coming to me. maybe all the studying for finals has fried my brain, but i am apparently unable to express myself. dammit!

so instead, i've decided to share my favourite love poem with you:

somewhere i have never travelled. by e.e. cummings.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

beautiful, no? touches my heart every time i read it. {tear}

- there is a 90s tv show reference lurking here too. let me know if you get it.....

this is a slap in the face. or mouth, to be exact.

2010-04-14T01:29:00.005-04:00

so i was having lunch with my parents today, and my mom sort of out-of-the-blue says:

"your father and i were talking, and we noticed last week that your teeth were looking a bit rank*. we think you should get them whitened before the wedding. don't worry, we'll pay for it".

ouch.

*{maybe she didn't say 'rank' exactly. but something about them being anything but white.}

for the record, i know my teeth aren't gleaming white or anything. and i've always noticed them being discoloured. they came in this way. it's not from smoking, or coffee, or whatever, but from excess enamel in certain places. these white patches make the rest look dull. i know this because i have discussed this with the dentist. i just didn't know OTHER people noticed it so much! kinda stung.

what the eff, mom?

p.s. my parents don't go around pointing out flaws all the time or anything, i don't want to start a bad parental first impression. they are awesome parents, super supportive, which is probably why this shocked me so!

this is my challenge.

2010-04-12T15:45:00.002-04:00

there are days where i open up my Google reader, or perhaps stumble upon a new blog through a suggested link, and my mind gets blown. literally. the writing is that good. these people have the ability to write in such a way that it chills me to the core, or leaves me feeling stunned for moments after. maybe not every time, but certain posts leave me in awe. the depth, the conviction, the whatever-it-is.

like here.

or here.

i cannot help but feel impressed, even envious, since my writing is nowhere near this level. i have followed different blogs for years, and lately felt that i wanted to be heard, so i started my own. but i have the hardest time finding the words to express myself. maybe it's just that i have become so censored or self-conscious that i can't even be completely honest with strangers; with myself. what i'm trying to express doesn't come out nearly as ~~i can't even come up with the words i want to say here~~ interesting or powerful as i would like. true, i started out with the intention of creating a wedding planning blog, and i will continue to do so (if only because i'm so stubborn and must follow through with everything), but i now also yearn to have a voice.

i will continue to write about my silly, uninteresting life and musings, trying to gain some perspective on things and get stuff off my chest. and hone my skills. even if i am the only one that reads it. it helps. but i can only hope that one day i could possibly match the writing style and talent of some of the amazing bloggers out there.

this is wedding entourage post #4. eventually.

2010-04-10T19:42:00.002-04:00

i would say i came from a moderately religious household. church on most sundays until my sister and i were in our late teens, and involvement in other church-things (Anglican, if you're wondering). carrying the cross or candle at mass, tuesday evening teen events (sporadically), and youth synod (a weekend away at a teen meeting to vote on things in the churches across the province that affected us). ok, this sounds as if we were super religious, but it didn't feel that way. my parents just liked to be involved in things, and these different events and sleep-away camps were just another way to hang with my friends and flirt with boys. seriously. as i got older, church camp got...interesting. but anyways, this is not about that. this is about wedding stuff, i swear.

isa (my fiance) grew up on the other side of the world in a predominately-muslim country. moving here to canada without his parents at age 16 somewhat removed him from a religous influence in his life, and although he still would have considered himself muslim. he was non-practicing, to say the least.

when we met, neither of us were the type to attend church. sundays became a day of rest: sleeping in, brunch and possibly a shopping trip. and they still are, although i would like for us to belong to a church by the time we have kids. anyhow, it wasn't until our second year of dating that isa started to take an interest in religious studies. not one specific denomination, per say, but about God in general. he immersed himself in books about Islam, Buddhism, and Christianity. he began watching nothing but the history channel on tv, following documentaries about biblical times. what was most interesting, to me, was how he was equally fascinated with documentaries about evolution, space travel, and anything similar. instead of getting stuck on one side of the road (creator vs. evolution) he had no preacher/teacher pushing him one direction and was able to see the links and similarities between the two. i was so proud.

i really was. it's incredible to watch someone start with a blank slate, and discover everything through unbiased eyes the things we take for granted having learned them in sunday school (or wherever) at such a young age.

now, 4 years later, we share the same general beliefs and values. we both would consider ourselves Christian, although we are completely open to ideas from other religions. personally, i have strong issues with the division of "religion" all together. these segmentations divide us and pit us against each other and become something to kill in the name of. isn't it enough just to believe in a higher power, and to treat one another as we want to be treated? karma (which i think is Buddhist? or Hindu, maybe) is something that i live my life by. good attracts good, and if you're a bad person, bad things will happen to you. isa has been able to take the idea of evolution and make it a Christian ideal. the Big Bang theory, procreation, and technology are all acts of God to him. and i love his way of thinking.

the whole point of this post so far is to explain our method of choosing an officiant to marry us. we don't belong to a church here yet, and picking one to marry in, or even a denomination, it wouldn't feel right. i have always dreamed of getting married outside. but i didn't want just a Justice of the Peace to marry us. too...unromantic i guess. so we have chosen an officiant service here in Southwestern Ontario: Kettle Creek Weddings. the officiant we have picked, Wayne Prevett, is incredibly charismatic, and just plain nice. what i like most is the fact that we get to customize our entire service. and it won't be unbearably long. 25 minutes MAX. we can have as much or as little religion as we like. anyone can do a reading, or we can scrap readings all together. we can write our own vows (my preference) or we can choose from a looooong list of beautiful vows (isa's preference). Wayne is super-duper helpful and Kettle Creek has amazing resources to help you with every aspect of the wedding. they have been a godsend (no pun intended). ;)

so, there's a little insight into one aspect of our relationship i suppose. and the path that led us to choosing our wedding officiant. i'll keep you posted as to what becomes of writing our own vows. :)

this is a mixed bag. and really long.

2010-04-08T13:44:00.004-04:00

everyday this week i have been telling myself i am going to write a post. and everyday i come up with some excuse not to. maybe i am too tired, maybe i have way too much schoolwork, maybe i've had just a bit too much wine (this was last night's excuse). i guess sometimes i'm just not feeling that expressive. or things happen on a daily basis that i think i should write about, but i don't have my computer handy and i forget later. this is totally me. i think this is why twitter appeals to me so much. however, recently, i have had to delete the twitter application from my blackberry to prevent it from blowing up. (it's running out of memory. it's 2 years old. i'm waiting for telus to let me get a new one CHEAP.) but that's a whole other story. basically, i can't tweet from my phone, so even less of my random thoughts get uploaded to the twitter-verse.

unless it's a twitpic. i can still email those. it has resulted in me twitpicking (word? whatevs.) everything. my apologies if this is annoying. except i'm actually not sorry.

i also realize that i am apologizing basically to just myself cuz no one really reads this. so i guess i'm really not sorry!

oh my. i am so off track.

anyways, the last week has been jam-packed with just about everything. on good friday, my fiance and i met up with another engaged couple we are friends with for some patio fun in wortley village. this is a beautiful old area of london ontario which is full of cute shops and cafes and old victorian houses. this is where i want to buy a house (eventually. the area knows it's so darn cute and is way overpriced.). even though it was slightly overcast, i managed to get some colour on my oh-so-pale arms. major score.

then we went with our engaged-couple-friends to look at the house they just purchased. they don't have keys yet, but it is empty so we were able to peer in the windows and look around the backyard. sounds creepy, but it was so fun! i couldn't help but feel a teensy bit jealous though, because my fiance and i are desperate to get into a house, but financially we just aren't there yet. my nightmares are plagued with credit scores and down payment inadequacies. you have no idea. or maybe you do.

happy for them, yes of course! but still, a teensy bit jealous.

we ended the day with a walk through springbank park, which is a HUGE public park along the river. (not central park huge, or anything, but big.) it was just the two of us (fiance and i) and it was great (not actually just the two of us, the park was way packed with families, it being a holiday and all). i can't stress enough how much we needed that relaxation time. we both have super busy lives, and our couple time is usually just breakfast time and sleep time. to just walk, talk, take pictures was simple yet just what i needed.

since friday, my life has been consumed with school. it was the last week of the last semester of my university career. this meant reports and projects out the wahzoo (sp?). i have literally been scheduling my life on a daily basis. this drives ocd-me crazy (is this irony?). i can barely tell people what i am doing for dinner. do i have to work? do i have a group meeting for school? is my spaceship scheduled for takeoff?

the last one was a joke. i don't know why it's funny though.

anyways, i forget where i was going. oh yes. my life = school this week. but, now, on a positive note, i am officially finished one of my five final semester courses. i am 1/5th done. wow. exciting and scary. my email has been bombarded with job postings and info sessions. soooo intimidating. while i am beyond ready to be done with school and start my "real" life, selling myself in interviews and networking events has never been my thing. i am constantly aware that i am being judged, and it makes me super awkward and uncomfortable. think fake laughter, fidgeting, and lots of blushing. lots. i'm great once you get to know me. i just need a few weeks. think chandler on friends. but less jokes.

but tonight, i will put all of this aside, and celebrate! yes, tonight is a university event "the last lecture" in which soon-to-be grads get dressed up (my fave) and get together at the school (duh), for drinks and socializing and there's even a guest speaker. i cannot for the life of me remember who right now, but it will be good. i have honestly been looking forward to this for the past for years. have i mentioned i'm a big nerd?

so to end on a positive note, time to go get prettied up :D and i promise (myself) to not go a full week again without a real post.

p.s. i have decided that thing up there isn't irony. maybe....

p.p.s. i think use (brackets) too much.